My knots & threads disclaimer for you!

I have been told by many individuals that I need to start a blog…I “should” have started this blog years ago but I wasn’t ready and didn’t have the emotional capacity to do so. I am finally starting my blog (hip-hip-hooray!!!) but not out of “need” or “should” but this is something I am creating for myself out of WANT.  I am so pleased I have the desire to ~c-r-e-a-t-e~ something. I have never considered myself to be artistic or talented or to have something to write that people want to read. But, I have been feeling a deep stirring in my soul to start sharing some of what I am going through…transparency is a somewhat *new* and very important thing in my life. I have been convicted of how much of my life has been a lie at times and I have the deep desire to live an honest life that honors my Creator. A transparent one.

So, you can expect this blog to have a thick & strong thread of transparency. If I am hurting especially bad-I am going to write about it. If I am joyful-which there is ALWAYS something to be joyful about-I am going to write about it. In the spirit of transparency, I will share one of my fears in starting this blog…I fear that:

a– no one will read it (but seriously-who cares if no one does).

b– everyone will read it (but seriously-who cares if everyone does).

c– those who read it will grow tired of hearing me talk about my illness’ or think I am being a “drama queen”. I will talk in detail. I will cry as I write at times. I will fight the urge to hide it and I will be transparent in my suffering.

a & b I am not as concerned about as I am about c…yet even as I type this, I can almost hear God whispering to me gently that there is nothing to grow tired of. That this is a dramatic (traumatic?) situation. That I am not overreacting…that this is awful to be going through. That the pain is real. The struggle is real. But, that there is beauty in it-and who am I to care what others think? It is their (your) decision to read my posts or not. I am simply expressing myself and being obedient to document the amazing things my Creator is doing in my life in the midst of my body falling apart on me.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. But, also, thank you for embarking on this journey with me. Thank you for reading my deepest thoughts & feelings. I pray you haven’t gone through some of the things I have-but if you have, you are not alone-and if you haven’t, maybe this will bring some insight and empathy or sensitivity to things you haven’t experienced. I know my experiences have taught me (and continue to teach me) SO much every day. And, I kick myself a lot for being an idiot and insensitive to people and things I knew nothing of in the past. But, that is just one of the knots that I am unravelling.

Life is full of knots & threads. So let’s start talking about them.

7 thoughts on “My knots & threads disclaimer for you!

  1. I’m so excited you started a blog. I’m so excited for you to tell your truth, because you are definitely worth listening to, and worth being heard. I’m excited for you to express what’s inside, and I think you might find it really healing. I love and honor your goal of transparency. I can’t wait to read your words and connect to you from afar. xoxo

  2. Hi Searcy,
    We’ve actually never met. I somehow ‘bumped’ into you via Obed and Elena’s Instagram feed….
    I do not claim to know or feel your pain, but having read your blog which completely resonates with me (having experienced a traumatic spell in critical care) I felt compelled to pray for your well being and let you know that I genuinely wish you a very speedy recovery.
    Despite an almost full physical recovery, thank The Lord, I cannot seem to even verbally relay my events from 2013 without ending up a blubbering mess! I think you are both strong and brave for expressing yourself in this way for others to share.
    May God bless you and fill you with strength and comfort both physically and mentally.

    All the best, Dru from London 🙂

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